well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
