Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
