Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
