I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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