so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
