was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
