im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
