My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
