bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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