i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dicks are not precious.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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