there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize