he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
