The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize