I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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