"it" just moved
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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