The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
