He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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