Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
