You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
