do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
