He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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