In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
