It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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