I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
