We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I look better un-naked...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
