I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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