It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
