Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
