it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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