wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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