Non-Jews are for practice
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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