I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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