No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize