We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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