Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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