I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
