did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize