All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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