She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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