Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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