dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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