Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
