you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
