I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
