Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
