i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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