i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
