so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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