It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
