I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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