im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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