Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
