ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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