I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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