3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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