I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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