my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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