Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
