i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
