Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
