I wish I could teleport
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize