thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
